I found this awesome website its called My Life is Average.
Today, my little brother came home from school with a Drug Free button, he's only 5 years old so I asked him if he even knew what drugs were. He responded with "No, but I know they're free." MLIA
Today, a woman came in to my work and asked about making a party reservation for her 60th birthday. I work at Chuck E Cheese. I want to be her. MLIA.
Today, my brother came home complaining about some jerk that drove past him and threw pink glitter in his hair through the car window. As he left the room, I turned to see my dad hiding large pots of pink glitter, stopped when he spotted me, smiled and put a finger to his lips. I love my dad. MLIA
Last night, while sleeping, I felt my hand land on someone else's. I freaked out, thrashing about in my bed, until I realized that my right hand had fallen asleep, and that I was holding hands with myself. MLIA
One day I received a call from an 800 number. Expecting it to be a telemarketer I answered with a sigh and a hello. The response was "Hi there, I'm an annoying telemarketer that's not going to try to sell you something I already know you don't want... how's the weather?" A minute later I heard his boss behind him ask what he was doing followed by a click. Best telemarketer experience ever. MLIA
A few days ago, my wife begged me to name our first child Power. Our last name is Ranger. I knew I chose the right woman. MLIA
Today, a friend got me an electric eraser as a birthday present. I thought it was a lame present until I discovered that it could erase parts of my text book. I proceeded to spend the next hour erasing all the page numbers. Take that future owner of my book. MLIA
